Hey guys! Here is a coupon code for 25% off all items in my storenvy~
LNA Vol. 2, Death & Prom launches Friday, September 12th at Graham Crackers Comics! A bloody good time awaits you…
Volume 2 of Ladies Night Anthology is back from the printers, and it’s time for our Launch Party! I found my tiara just for the occasion :)
Who would like a postcard? I’ve got about 10 watercolor postcards sitting around and figured I should probably get around to using them. Give me a prompt and your address in an ask/fan mail, and I’d be happy to send you one :) First come first serve!
All of the cards have been spoken for! <3
So, I guess I can announce this now (yay!).
I am excited to announce that I am working on a graphic novel written by nicktapalansky called Cast No Shadow, which is, in his words, “a coming of age YA paranormal comedy romance” and it will be published by First Second Books! It’s super cute and fun, and I’m thrilled to be illustrating it. For a peek at some of my rough penciled pages (like the one above) you can go HERE
I hope to show you guys more from this project soon :)
I’ve struggled with anxiety/depression since I was fairly young. It was the only thing I knew for almost twenty years of my life, and until recently, I thought it was just…who I was. For some reason, I bought into the idea that artists should suffer in silence that it somehow made their work better, and that pain was just part of the process. I resolutely believed that my condition was a matter of a lack of discipline, a moral failing. Asking for help was akin to admitting weakness, inferiority, and worst of all exposing my vulnerability.
When the panic attacks started, I was uninsured, and honestly, I wasn’t positive at the time that is what I was experiencing. My body was telling me in the only way it could that something was very wrong with me. I was fortunate to get into a free clinic and talk to one of the psychiatrists there. So, why are you here, he asked. A straightforward question for most, for me, it triggered uncontrollable sobbing for the next two hours. It was an embarrassing raw emotional experience that, as unpleasant as it was, finally broke through years and years of denial, and forced me to accept the fact that I was mentally unwell, and somehow worst of all…that I needed help.
The first time I felt-I don’t even know if I can call it happy…(maybe content, I suppose) I was having breakfast with my father in this little diner. Slowly, this feeling, warm and golden, crept up and curled itself around my heart. It felt…good. I was actually enjoying myself there in that unremarkable place on any other day with my father. It was a shock to me, a foreign sensation that I’m sad to say took a long time to process but when I realized what I was feeling, I smiled. That’s another thing that has changed. I smile and laugh a lot more, and it’s easy and unforced. It no longer feels like a chore.
So, it’s been almost a year since 50 mg of a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor-a-day changed everything. I can honestly say it’s been the longest year of my life, in the best possible way. Every day, I am present and aware. Every day, I wake up and want to get out of bed. I want to fill up sketchbooks, write stories, and draw comics. I want to help others.
I’ll be honest, not all of my problems are solved but they have become less mountains, and more molehills. Yes, some days are more difficult than others, but I am slowly learning to adapt to life’s obstacles, and to ask for help when needed. It’s been thus far a humbling journey. I am lucky and grateful to know a handful of kind people whose love, patience, and support makes me feel honored to call them my family and friends.
If you are in crisis, there are hotlines and crisis centers for you, but if you find it difficult to talk on the phone (I know I do sometimes), there is a online crisis center called Lifeline Crisis Chat that uses instant messaging to assist those in need.
Please know that you are not alone. Asking for help does not mean that you’ve failed. You are loved. You are loved. You are loved.
You guys know about vampires? … You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought isn’t that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all.
Anissa Espinosa is an freelance illustrator and comic artist. You may contact her by email at redribbon.robot at gmail dot com.
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Do you need some free high-quality textures for your digital work? I made a few to share. If you're interested, just click here for my tea texture pack and for my first round of textures just click here to download!